I'm drive I can fine osifer
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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