I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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