Swine flu. Run for my life!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My ass is underappreciated
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
