ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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