But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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