if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
