Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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