Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
