His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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