My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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