Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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