she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
BRING THE BAGELS
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
