the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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