You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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