I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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