Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
