dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
