Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
