So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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