is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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