Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
