She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
do herpes really smell.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize