hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
