Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
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You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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