I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
