I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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