bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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