Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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