You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
