I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
