Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
