im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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