Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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