He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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