Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just sucked dick on a ferry
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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