well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
