R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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