Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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