He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
