If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
