$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
