So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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