I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
