question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
