Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My vagina is officially offended.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
