How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
