just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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