connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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