And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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