Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
