can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just had sex bonerless
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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