i think i have herpe
just one?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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