I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize