He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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