Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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