I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize