A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
NoShamevember. You game?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize