I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize