I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
