I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
