im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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